GBP Chapter 920 - 14: Two Newbie Natives Enter the Manor
Chapter 920 - 14: Two Newbie Natives Enter the Manor
No-Life Whale: Eating dirt, you're joking, right?Xin'e: Y-you must be telling some ridiculous joke! Who do you think would believe that?
No-Life Whale: Xirong Manor is a Sword Casting Sacred Land famed across the world, it's still taking all kinds of Immortal Weapon forging orders right now!
Xin'e: That's the place countless blacksmiths yearn for, the spot where their dream sets sail! The lighthouse that leads Civilization! How could we possibly get to the manor gate and have to put on a performance of eating dirt first?
The Marriage Dress Town Master heard the doubts of these Xirong fangirls and couldn't help sighing.
She could completely understand their feelings—if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes before, she herself wouldn't have dared imagine it.
But she knew that when tomorrow came...
Once they saw that terrifying scene, they'd go from doubting eating dirt, to imitating eating dirt, then go stand under the blazing sun at the plaza to take quests and start carrying bricks.
She continued writing the first-test strategy guide:
[Second: Please occasionally act like your facial muscles are stiff, moving your hands and feet in sync when you greet people. Even though Pseudo-Pseudo-People have now evolved facial flexibility, almost like real people,
they still like to occasionally make that stiff Pseudo-human smile when interacting with others, as if out of nostalgia—because the first time they played Pseudo-humans their faces were stiff, got exposed, and caused a lot of jokes.]
[Third: As Pseudo-humans, you must absolutely act like you love carrying bricks, treating money as your life, quests above all else. It seems Pseudo-humans internally call themselves the Fourth Calamity.]
[Fourth: When you're exhausted, do not rest! Do not rest! Resting is an action only Humans have. When Pseudo-Pseudo-People are tired, they often go to the clinic to buy Demon Path Pill Medicine and then do "sudden-death-style" brick-carrying. When you're about to drop dead from fatigue, please collapse to the ground, make a pained expression, and shout: Ahhhh! I don't want to die yet, I haven't finished my quest!]
[Fifth: Pseudo-humans love role-playing, because this is a compulsory course for the Pseudo-human race to imitate Possession. They will role-play other characters in the plaza. After you see them acting, please show an expression of appreciation. If their acting meets your standards, you can toss Magic Coins into their bowls...]
...
...
[Eighteenth: Pseudo-humans disregard their bodies and will eat certain delicacies with extremely severe side effects.]
[Please keep these rules firmly in mind; this is equivalent to tomb robbing. As long as we obey the Killing Rules and adapt flexibly, we will gain opportunities even better than tomb robbing!]
[I'll come find you tomorrow. Please answer with the correct code phrase, and please do not let Pseudo-humans notice anything abnormal about you. I don't think you'd want to know the consequences.]
No-Life Whale looked at the bizarre rules one by one.
It felt that as the text painted things more and more vividly, all these absurd, grotesque, evil, twisted Pseudo-Pseudo-People were practically appearing right before its eyes.
They were baring ferocious, freakish grins inside Xirong Manor, waiting for her to step into the demon lair.
Princess Xin'e wasn't calm either:
"In Article Eight it says, when you see Pseudo-human street lamps that were killed, you should laugh out loud and ridicule them—they're criminal Pseudo-humans, and if they commit too many crimes they might even turn into floorboards... So that means over there even the floor tiles and street lamps will be going 'hee hee hee' with creepy laughter?"
The entire Xirong Manor is a horrifying tomb for the dead?
Just like that, they kept calculating, panicking, asking questions; bit by bit, without even noticing, they stayed up all night and dragged themselves into the second day at 8:00.
Soon, an opening animation appeared in their field of view—a battle of illustrators, an extremely spectacular Combat sequence, shot from every angle, making people marvel.
After the opening animation was played, they officially became players on the third day of open beta.
When they opened their eyes again, they didn't even have time to be shocked by the mythical scene of that battle, and instead cautiously looked at everything around them, quietly waiting for the Marriage Dress Town Master to come pick them up.
"I'm in."
"Hahaha, I'm going to eat dirt, I'm going to eat dirt."
A few blacksmiths nearby started laughing and eating dirt at the manor, snorting and huffing, looking extremely ridiculous.
No-Life Whale and Xin'e watched, both faces stunned: they actually did it for real? They really eat dirt?
They also instinctively started mimicking and eating dirt.
Then, after they'd followed those newbie blacksmiths and eaten dirt, those newbie blacksmiths spat it out—"So nasty, so nasty!"
The blacksmith next to them burst into loud laughter.
"The newbie races for the last two days were all Money Children. Now we just wait for day three to turn into the Human Race and see who's still eating dirt."
"Let me count how many idiots didn't check their own race and still went to eat dirt?"
"Gah gah gah, that trap's so old, and there's still people falling for it."
...
Laughter all around.
No-Life Whale and Xin'e, mouths full of dirt: "???"
The nasty, disgusting taste wasn't the important part.
The important thing was that they felt like they were monkeys right now, being watched by everyone.
Helpless, pitiful.
This demon lair was incredibly scary; it even lured other living beings into eating dirt? Could it be we're already exposed?
Meanwhile the Marriage Dress Town Master had already been waiting, and quickly noticed the two IDs.
[No-Life Aunt]
[Aunt Xin]
Her mouth twitched, and she hurriedly ran to the gate, cursing at those prankster blacksmiths: "Get lost, stop tormenting my friends."
With that, she quietly led the two of them to a corner of the manor and whispered:
"Sorry, I didn't expect them, on the third day, to stop playing by common sense. I heard they have a control panel that can control the login race, number of people, roles..."
No-Life Whale took a deep breath. "It's fine, I'm fine."
Seeing the two still reasonably rational, the Marriage Dress Town Master couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief.
When tomb robbing, what you fear most is getting slapped in the face, then acting on impulse, letting your emotions hijack your brain and losing your cool.
These two could be counted as veteran tomb raiders; they knew that in a tomb, blending into the enemy and swallowing your pride is a required course.
The Marriage Dress Town Master said:
"Didn't I say you can just use your real names? They won't find out, because Pseudo-humans like to take some of our names. If we use our real names, it's easier to mix in among them. I play myself, and it's easier to show I'm an outstanding Pseudo-human."
In the eyes of the Marriage Dress Town Master, mixing truth and lies, nine parts truth and one part lie, is the best kind of lie.
Pseudo-humans seem to hold "roleplaying" in very high regard.
We play ourselves… with our acting skills, we'll definitely stand out, become the new generation of Pseudo-human prodigies, and it'll be easier to make a name for ourselves.
"I want to use mine too." No-Life Whale grew anxious and wailed, "But my name's already taken, I can only use a bootleg version."
"Same here." Princess Xin'e sighed.
The two of them had just finished speaking when they saw two blacksmith girls walk past with the IDs [No-Life Whale] and [Princess Xin'e] on top of their heads.
Their whole beings instantly collapsed.
We're screwed, we've turned into bootlegs.
The Marriage Dress Town Master froze for a moment, then hurriedly said, "Quick, quick, go to the clinic for plastic surgery, make a trip to the Hairpin Lady Tower, get the outfits, and cosplay No-Life Whale and Princess Xin'e!"
Princess Xin'e was also exploding with rage. With the ID [Aunt Xin] on her head, she snarled, "I'll show them who the real Pseudo-human is, who plays [Princess Xin'e] more convincingly!"
No-Life Whale was also burning with fury. "I'll make them understand what! a true super Pseudo-human is! Who really has perfect acting skills!"
"I'm the number one person playing No-Life Whale! They can only rank second and third."
And so, a few shivering, helpless natives slipped into a crowd of players and cautiously embarked on a new journey.
...
...
Ning Zheng was stunned into numbness.
He pulled the remaining two with good tempers over for the second wave of closed beta: the "natives huddle together" test.
To see what happens when you put them together.
No-Life Whale had always looked a bit dopey, a typical blacksmith-type tech talent.
Princess Xin'e was a bit soft, which actually felt quite suitable too.
As for the more forceful types like Xu Huan and Li Youzhu, he hadn't put them in.
But who could've guessed that the moment these blacksmiths logged in, they'd pull a stunt like this and snipe other people's names.
Can't they just be normal people for once?
"Forget it, forget it, names are a minor issue."
On the rooftop of the steward's office overlooking the plaza, Ning Zheng watched the three of them start to group up, pick up quests in the square, and enthusiastically discuss which newbie quests were better.
"As expected, this world defaults to tomb raiding—everyone's a born acting expert, naturally gifted with Pseudo-Pseudo-Person potential. They adapted so fast and already know how to roleplay."
"As expected, none of these people are simple."
He couldn't help but show a slight smile, his expression full of anticipation:
"Marriage Dress Town Master, a technical-type Physician talent."
"Princess Xin'e will definitely team up with her, and might even help her out after logging off tonight."
"As long as the Marriage Dress Town Master manages to get a bootleg version of Firewood from Princess Xin'e, that'll be enough for her to become a qualified new-era Physician and research Immortal Stones for me."
Ning Zheng now already knew how to run operations.
If you don't squeeze your talent, how are you supposed to be a dog planner?
And No-Life Whale is truly a heaven-defying genius.
A Mortal sealed in history by the No-Life Sect—how could that be simple?
Back in the Innate Mythology era, you couldn't cultivate. Now that she can cultivate, she directly invented the Shadow Crocodile forge technique.
And our official Sword Casting Manor actually has to steal her Shadow Crocodile tech.
Only by dragging a person like that in can we truly make her our Sword Casting Manor's blacksmith boss.
Just in time to also study the new Metal Embers virus that came over from the project next door yesterday.
Two projects next door, and I immediately pull in two people to study them.
This is what a qualified planner looks like!
Dilly-dallying is not Ning Zheng's style.
"Next door's already using metal coffins and having Golden Cores pop out; our smithing tech needs researching too, we have to keep up." Ning Zheng was very satisfied with this wave of planning.
As for people like Xu Huan, Li Youzhu, and Jiao Wuyu—Combat Stream Cultivators—honestly they weren't very helpful to Ning Zheng right now.
It's not like he's going out to fight.
He fundamentally has no conflict of interest with the Immortal Realm.
Why go provoke the big shots over there for no reason?
Isn't it nice to quietly power up? Ning Zheng can level up a Realm in a few days; stirring up trouble is not a wise move.
On the Forum, Ning Zheng very much agreed with the new mainline strategy proposed by Jiucai Rong:
[Cultivation isn't all about fighting and killing; it's about human relationships and social skills. And as for relationships… secretly "greening" the Immortal Realm is totally normal, right? The farming route, Sword Casting Manor leeching all kinds of tech from the Immortal Realm—that's our true direction.]
[War must not be started lightly; unless they find out we've greened them and can't tolerate it anymore, only then will we carry the banner of justice, passively fight back, and defend our home.]